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Question: I'm a single mother, but right now I think the best thing to do is send my 10yo daughter to my mother, because I feel like a failure. She was caught kissing another girl in the bathroom, by her teacher. I can't tell her father because he will kill or disown her. I have not told anyone because I'm not sure my circle of friends can handle this and I don't want them to treat my daughter differently. My daughter apologized and said the girl asked her to try it. She asked me last night if I still loved her, because she know I disapprove of it. I told her yes, but I was very disappointed that she was kissing a girl. She cried, kept saying she was sorry, and begged me not to inform anyone. She asked if she could attend another school because no one wanted to be her friend after finding out. The other girl is tell everyone my daughter grabbed her and kissed her. What am I going to do if my daughter is gay? How can I protect my daughter if she decide to have sexual relationships with girls from her peers, family, and my friends? This is too much for me to....


Answer:  Hello, Inward Core encourage you to speak with your daughter of how she may be treated if she does ANY type of behaviors her family and friends may not approve of. Please encourage her to seek help from an adult if she is being bullied by her peers. Please know it is not your fault if your daughter is gay, but seek to love her unconditionally. Don't assume your daughter is gay because she got caught kissing a girl. She needs support as she face this situation in her life. We encourage you and your daughter to speak with a therapist in order to process your feelings.  We repeat, PLEASE make sure your daughter speak with a therapist, because this could be very hard to process or overwhelming for a 10yo. We also encourage you to find a support group of parents who are dealing with this same situation. Remember she is still your daughter no matter what she does or don't do.

While each person’s experiences are different so to are each professional’s area of expertise. The therapist you choose to work with will be dependent not only on that individuals knowledge and skills but also in their ability to make you feel comfortable in working together to achieve your goals.

One therapist may be most experienced providing marriage and family therapy while another may be skilled in the treatment of substance abuse or co-occurring disorders. While some therapists feel most comfortable working with adults, other may prefer to work only with children or adolescents.

To help you select a therapist that is right for you, SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, issued the following guidelines:
Selecting a therapist is an important decision. Finding the right match is critical to the success of your treatment.

1. See your primary care physician to rule out a medical cause of your problems. If your thyroid is "sluggish," for example, your symptoms (such as loss of appetite and fatigue) could be mistaken for depression.
2. After you know your problems are not caused by a medical condition, find out what the mental health coverage is under your insurance policy or through Medicaid/Medicare.
3. Get two or three referrals before making an appointment. Specify age, sex, race, or religious background if those characteristics are important to you.
4. Call to find out about appointment availability, location, and fees. Ask the receptionist:
   • Does the mental health professional offer a sliding-scale fee based on income?
   • Does he/she accept your health insurance or Medicaid/Medicare?
5. Make sure the therapist has experience helping people whose problems are similar to yours. You may want to ask the receptionist about the therapist's expertise, education, and number of years in practice.
6. If you are satisfied with the answers, make an appointment.
7. During your first visit, describe those feelings and problems that led you to seek help. Find out:
   • What kind of therapy/treatment program he or she recommends;
   • Whether it has proven effective for dealing with problems such as yours;
   • What the benefits and side effects are;
   • How much therapy the mental health professional recommends; and
   • Whether he or she is willing to coordinate your care with another practitioner if you are personally interested in exploring credible alternative therapies, such as acupuncture.
8. Be sure the psychotherapist does not take a "cookie cutter" approach to your treatment. What works for one person does not necessarily work for another. Different psychotherapies and medications are tailored to meet specific needs.
9. Although the role of a therapist is not to be a friend, rapport is a critical element of successful therapy. After your initial visit, take some time to explore how you felt about the therapist.
10. If the answers to these questions and others you come up with are "yes," schedule another appointment to begin the process of working together to understand and overcome your problems. If the answers to most of these questions are "no," call another mental health professional from your referral list and schedule another appointment

Mental illnesses are medical conditions that disrupt a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others, and daily functioning. Just as diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often result in a diminished capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of life.

Some of the more common disorders are depression, bipolar disorder, dementia, schizophrenia and anxiety disorders. Symptoms may include changes in mood, personality, personal habits and/or social withdrawal. When these occur in children under 18, they are referred to as serious emotional disturbances (SEDs). Mental illnesses can affect persons of any age, race, religion, or income.

Here are some important facts about mental illness and recovery:

• Mental illnesses are biologically-based brain disorders. They cannot be overcome through "will power" and are not related to a person's "character" or intelligence.
• Mental disorders fall along a continuum of severity. Even though mental disorders are widespread in the population, the main burden of illness is concentrated in a much smaller proportion — about 6 percent, or 1 in 17 Americans — who suffer from a serious mental illness. It is estimated that mental illness affects 1 in 4 families in America.
• Mental illnesses usually strike individuals in the prime of their lives, often during adolescence and young adulthood. All ages are susceptible, but the young and the old are especially vulnerable.
• The best treatments for serious mental illnesses today are highly effective; between 70 and 90 percent of individuals have significant reduction of symptoms and improved quality of life with a combination of pharmacological and psychosocial treatments and supports.
• With appropriate effective medication and a wide range of services tailored to their needs, most people who live with serious mental illnesses can significantly reduce the impact of their illness and find a satisfying measure of achievement and independence. A key concept is to develop expertise in developing strategies to manage the illness process.
• Early identification and treatment is of vital importance. By ensuring access to the treatment and recovery supports that are proven effective, recovery is accelerated and the further harm related to the course of illness is minimized.

Question:
Inward Core I receive letters about my child not paying attention and moving around all the time from his pre-k teacher. They want to run test, but I don't want my child to be labeled. He is a healthy, 3 year old boy with a lot of energy. Am I harming my son by not allowing them to do the test?

Answer:
Hello My 3yo May Need Help, It could be very frustrating to know your son's teacher may think your child have an issue because he has a lot of energy and not able to maintain focus in the classroom. Most parents do not want their child to be labeled so know you are not alone. The great thing is a child cannot gain a mental health diagnose until he/she is 4 years old so most doctors wait. However, the sooner you work with  your son lack of attention span if this is true the better it will be for him to manage his thoughts as he becomes older. If you will like to learn how Inward Core can assist you please send us an email to info@inwardcorehealthcare.com.